impresses all around her with her never-ending
ability to perform quality parenting despite pathologic
sleep deprivation which makes it almost impossible
for her to keep her eyes open, as evidenced in the
above photograph. Both Theo and Charlie are
dressed for outdoor fun, but poor Cristin appears to
be ready for a long winter nap.
"I love them so much, I just feel like I need to
keep my game up despite the fact that I haven't
gotten more than 5 hours of sleep since April. I can
sleep when Charlie goes to college," said Bock,
slamming down throaty gulps of double cappuccino
between sentences. "Although I'd love him if he
never went to college. He can do whatever... he...
wants..."
Bock then drifted into a narcoleptic haze for 30
seconds, delaying the completion of her loving and
understanding parental wisdom.
"Sorry... where was I?" she stated, wiping a
small amount of cappuccino-laced drool from the
corner of her mouth. "CHARLIE!!! Keep your pants
on! Pants are for wearing! No, don't pour milk on
Theo - he can't drink it that fast. NO!"
Mrs. Bock's sleep problems began with
pregnancy, during which young Theo had a nasty
habit of routinely kicking the young mother's kidneys
throughout the night. This led to significant
discomfort and a regular need to drain her bladder.
After Theo's birth, breastfeeding took over as the
cause of her sleep debt. It appears that children
need to eat just about every day! Theo continues to
require a feeding around 11:30pm, leading to a short
night just about every night.
"And don't forget the workman-like sawhorse
snoring from my adorable husband!" Cristin added
lovingly.
It is hoped that Mrs. Bock will return to a normal
sleep schedule within the next several months. Until
then, her parenting will be done through a bleary and
caffeinated vision, braced with no-doze and
understanding, her patience embued with a
significantly decreased response time.
